Sweat

I'm on a little break in the office. Enjoying some pandora music, facebook, and of course blogging for a little while. I've been working with a youth group here from an episcopal church from something like "Waxahachee" Texas. I really have no clue...I just pretend I understand what they say. There's a park in the neighborhood with a sand volleyball court that was completely infested by weeds. It was like a jungle.

We cleaned it out today :]

Then water-sealed some of the wood around the park. Replaced some wood that keeps the sand in around the volleyball court. I hammered "ree-bar"(?) that was like the size of my femur into the ground. It was hard work, but I learned something new. Next step, lawn care.

Let's do another fun list of things on my mind:

1) Alls I gotta say is I'm getting an excellent tan.....on the back of my neck. Blisters and all. Maybe i'll fashion myself a swag-rag.

2) Aaron, a fellow intern, is currently driving me insane by slowly moving the door to this office back and forth on purpose as it squeaks. It sounds like a monkey dying. I'm going to punch him in the neck.

3) Got a Waco City library card yesterday and it's easier to get into college than get a library card in Waco. Checked out the Poisonwood Bible.

4) We're going to go see 'Seventeen Again' at the 50-cent theater tonight and then get $1 ice cream at Basken Robbins. [Notice, creepy cat ice cream picture. i have no idea why its in here. Just the fact that someone probably finds it cute.] YAY cheap intern outtings. Is it sad that i'm more excited to see chandler in the movie than zac shmefron?

5) I'm having such a good time.

6) I miss everyone back home.

7) Chiggers - have afflicted almost half of the interns...I'm an exception so far. First, swine flu, west nile, then I'll get CHIGGERS.

8) Okay, I gotta go to Street Camp now.

Love you all!

Thanks for reading, peace to you.

Some glad morning.

Welcome to the Tara post-Poverty Simulation.

(not my picture)

It changed my life. I spent 44 hours with only the clothes on my back and a sleeping bag. No shelter, no money, not knowing where my next meal was coming from. I can't even adequately describe to you everything about the feelings or experiences. Although, the massive sunburn I have from being out in the Texas heat could attest to something. (Have I thanked you guys for my chacos enough yet? because really they were such a BLESSING to me this weekend) I'm not supposed to disclose details and I won't but I did things I would never imagine having to do from begging for money to digging through trash. You get the picture.
My whole mindset toward the homeless completely changed when we had the chance to hang out with them on equal ground and actually ask advice on how to live on the streets. It was so crazy running into guys that we serve breakfast to and having to ask for help in finding water or food. It gave asking 'how their day was' a whole new meaning.
During one of our day, we had to put on a Street Camp in the projects, including getting there by foot. And it was basically the same thing, but something happened to me that I will never forget. I had a five year old tell me 'F you' and he meant it because I wouldn't let him steal another kids skooter. I could NOT believe it. I can't believe what I'm seeing/hearing sometimes. Thank God for opening my eyes.
It was so startling how harsh it feels to have all your resources taken away. And to walk with every half-block there being a church and realizing the immense poverty in Waco and the world. Waco has double the amount of poverty as an average city. On average, city's have 12% poverty, while Waco has 27%...almost 1 in 3. And when you get outside of this American bubble and look at the great need in the world, it is NO wonder Americans are looked at as immoral, arrogant snobs.
Sorry to be pessimistic. The experience was educational to say the least and definitely moving.

I was so ready for it to be over because of all the stress from hunger, heat, and lack of sleep. I can not tell you how good my shower felt and then my bed last night. Shoot...it was heaven. And thank God for A/C.

So thankfully, Jamie (our work group director) gave us this morning off to recooperate and I just went into the office and piddled around. It was an easy day and especially easy to enter right back into the middle class world. Went to Target and now i'm at my usual table at Common Grounds. I'm so ready to get back into it though. There's a new motivation now to mobilize the youth groups that visit and to connect with the poor here. My perspective has definitely changed.

I gotta run, my ride is leaving. More to come soon. Love you all (Thanks for all the cards and letters!!)

Thanks for reading. Peace to you.

Where is the hope in this, crowd of indifference. Where is the truth if its not in my mouth.

This is incredible. By this, I mean my summer. I can't believe what I have the opportunity to do.

I have spent the last three days diving headfirst into Waco. I spent my Tuesday with the guys in my work group in the morning again and then in the afternoon I went to StreetCamp for the first time. Street Camp is a weekday afternoon thing that MW puts on in the playgrounds of the projects across the city. The workgroups lead a VBS-style lesson/craft/snack time and just play with the kids for a few hours. The group had the craft of making masks out of paper plates just for fun, and a seven year old wrote "ass" "ho" "b*tch" on his and thought nothing of it. The slides and playground equipment is covered in bad language and when the kids got side-walk chalk, some chose to write the f-word all over the ground. It is insane to realize that they hear that word more than anything from movies and adults. I spent a little time talking with MacKenzie who coordinates the childrens programs and she was telling me that this is there culture, plain and simple. They don't think the words are unacceptable and don't understand words I would commonly use. It is a completely different world with different morals and customs. I LOVE that I am learning this. I don't want to be ignorant OR disrespectful of someone else's culture. I had an amazing time.
I went on to Small group and Scripture reading as usual for Tuesdays. These week's Scripture readings were all from Psalms. And I don't have my sheet with me but the summary of the few verses were that God hears the cries of the poor and raises them up from their afflictions. I didn't feel comfortable and quite honestly felt pretty doubtful after reading them. I just don't understand the depths to the verses. Because there are plenty of crying poor, dying from their afflictions. I know its our role as the church to help in the edifying and reviving of the poor. And since for the most part we're not doing that great of a job, I know we are outside of the will of God. I dont know...I'm just working these thoughts out. I don't really like the church of today and I don't mean to be super negative and stereotypical anti-"church". I just think we are so selfish. This guy in small group called it "consumer christianity" where we go to church to "get" something out of it. Was it ever supposed to be that way?
Today, I had my last day with a few fellas from work group. It is SO interesting to be a part of the dynamics of a middle-class white youth/college group and then go to teach at the GED class among those that dont fit into that group, whether they're black/hispanic/poor/or whatever. It is a whole different mindset. I spent this morning trying to politely motivate three white middleclass guys ranging from 16-24 to mow/paint one of MW's transitional homes for men with addictions or transitioning out of homelessness. It is SO hard to not get an attitude when they are so openly resistant to just serve three days. Me and Emily, the other intern, that works with me on work groups just had to vent to each other our frustrations about the crazy youth groups and even more questionable youth leadership. Father, give me patience.
Went to the GED class for the first time and it EXHAUSTED me. But it was so good I could cry. There were probably around 10 people there this time. And I spent a lot of my time with a girl named Indya who by my guess was around 20. We worked on long division. Ummm, first of all, long division is hard to teach. I never want to be an elementary school teacher. Explaining basic math was so stinking frustrating. But after working with Indya for 2 hours and she left, the teacher told me that that was the longest Indya had ever stayed. That Indya told her that her mom called her 'stupid' her entire life and she doesn't even want to get her GED. She's completely unmotivated but only doing it because her brother is pushing her to. I could definitely tell in the beginning that she was SUPER shy to the point of unhealthiness. And from my time with her, I'm pretty sure she can't see well. So we worked on math and she opened up to me and started to grasp the ideas. I wanted to cry. I loved it. It's one of those times when you feel totally gratified.
And now I'm here at Common Grounds (of course), unloading all this.

Honestly, I don't know how I can communicate all the things I'm facing spiritually and mentally. I don't understand the institution of the church for the most part anymore. And most of the time, I feel overwhelmed by the poverty around me whether its poverty of resources, wealth, compassion or spirit. And I am so below the radar on everything, I'm in a state of confusion...all the time. I know all of poverty is not my burden, but it's daunting and where's my role in it all? My heart hasn't been broken completely for the poor yet, but it's twisting and churning quite uncomfortably.

We have our Poverty Simulation this weekend as interns and we're going along with some others from all over. [So no posts this weekend. Take a break. I'll be force to take one.] Still, top secret. Got no clue what's going to happen and I'm so stinking tired that I have got to get some rest if I'm going to get anything out of it rather than extreme crankiness and dirt.

Interesting Wacko-news:
1. People magazine is coming to Church under the Bridge this Sunday to take pictures. Why the heck is People mag coming? You've got me. It doesn't seem like their thing, but this is our 'poverty simulation' weekend and we'll be going to church on Sunday in whatever state we have gotten ourselves into since Friday. So...maybe I can convince someone I'm homeless, since I will have been for the weekend.

2. I found the Relevant article on CuB
Here goes:
http://www.relevantmag.com/features-reviews/reject-apathy/16569-bridges-and-trolls-the-church-under-the-bridge


Man, I'm tired. Sorry.
Thanks for reading, peace to you.

98 degrees

my life is 98 degrees - not the band...the weather.

It is the hottest summer of my LIFE. Not much has been happening except for a lot of sweating. I opened a bank account at Bank of America to concede to Texas' lack of the bank I've used since I was sixteen. It felt like betrayal. I spent this past weekend just hanging out, getting ready for this week. Had a real short work group experience on Saturday with a group of frilly girls from Tulsa that I supervised cleaning the World Cup Cafe. It was uuuuhhh... "great". Haha I can't be positive all the time. Last night, we went to Micah's house (one of the grad school interns) and had dinner and he introduced us to Coco's ice cream afterwards. Yum sketchy ice cream place.

Went to Church Under the Bridge (look through that website, some of the pictures are incredible) on Sunday for the first time and it was so neat. Jimmy Dorrell (the director of MW) pastors the church but he wasn't there this sunday. Nonetheless, it was cool. They serve breakfast before the service and there are ton of people there from the homeless to well-to-do families. Okay, and they call people that go to CUB...trolls. How funny is that? Someone told me that RelevantMag did an article on the church in like April/May. I wish I had a way to read it. [Molly, do you have it?? haha]
Here are some pictures that Susan Mullally took of CUB:















Today, we started our real summer! yeeeeah! I spent the morning with three guys from The Village Church in Dallas. They are a part of a visiting work group. We were on snack duty, so basically that meant I took them to walmart while answering questions about waco and showing them things i thought were cool, we made snack, and then delivered it to the other sites. After that they mowed at the intern house and did some much needed clean-up, while i was inside "supervising". Haha. At lunch with the groups, I had a really cool conversation with the people at my table about how my views of poverty, community and church responsibility has changed. These adults really listened to what I had to say. It felt good.

Then I headed over to the office to do some assistant work and learn those ropes in the afternoon. I ended up sorting through the new summer t-shirts. They look like this:After that I felt disgusting from sweating all stinking day. I'm going to take a picture of my chacos soon and show you their current state, you'd never think i got them two months ago. Thanks to you guys for the birthday gift. They are a godsend this summer.

Finished reading our next book a few days ago. I liked it so much more than the first. By the way, I know I said I'd post my book reflection from the first but I don't like what I wrote and it wouldn't benefit anyone to read it haha. Maybe next time. Our second book is: In the Name of Jesus by Henri J.M. Nouwen. This book has less to do with homelessness, poverty, or community, but focuses on the future of Christian leadership. Nouwen who writes it, is a priest that serves and lives in a community for the mentally handicapped in Canada. His book is about how the secularization of Christianity has really changed what is now called for in Christian leaders. He says that the future Christian leaders are going to have be completely irrelevant by today's standards It is really interesting to read and super short. I recommend it.

So this coffee shop has a huge back patio area where they have live music and apparently movies. Tonight's is the Goonies. So while I'm enjoying an iced coffee and free wifi outside on this aesthetically pleasing patio, I can listen and watch a classic film on a giant screen. I'm trying to convince myself that this place isn't cooler than Broad River, but I'm having a hard time. The only argument I still have is that BRCC is in NC.

Things I miss this week from home (other than people): Rain. It hasn't rained since I got here. AT ALL. I hope the next time it does...if ever... i'll be able to go outside and get soaked. I'll take pictures.

Home Accents. The whole hick routine is getting old. Today, I was told by a mother in the Work Group that my accent was so "thick".....

My books. I should've brought more. I have nothing else to do during down time. I've read four books since I got here. I know next week I'm going to have to get a library card.

P.S. I've been getting incredible things in the mail and hear that there is more to come. Thank you so much for caring. I miss home a lot. So much so that today, when one of my fellow interns had a NC map delivered to her in a care-package (She's from Kansas but loves NC and is probably going to move there) that I flipped and had to open it up to find Kernersville.

Hopefully, this has entertained you a bit.
Thanks for reading. peace to you

ode to mosquitoes

Ode to Mosquitoes

Oh, mosquito, how I hate you.
You make life as miserable as too tiny shoe.
Those spider-like legs and big beady eyes
Make you a freak and despised.

Not only does the heat of me get the best,
you are an additional and unnecessary pest.
If ever comes a mosquito hunting day,
I'd join the NRA.

So please back off and find a new mammal,
Before I move to Egypt and ride camels.
Follow the economy and get a new job.
I hate you more than a racist lynch mob.

I met a Cowboy

The last two days in the life of Tara have been somewhat unexciting. We spent all day yesterday going around town, visiting important places and meeting important people.

Started off with a meeting with McKenzie who runs the Street Camp for kids. We went over logistics that wouldn't interest you.
We ate lunch at the Gospel Cafe which is a ministry of CrossTies Church. CrossTies Church is an interesting church. They have really strict requirements in order to become a member and even though the church has existed since the nineties, they only have six members. The church has a full service on Sundays but only six are members. The members have to adhere to strict observance of Sabbaths, including taking the entire month of July off. They also have to spend a year as an "intern" of the church to learn and invest in the church. It's an interesting viewpoint. Anyway, they run this cafe that is in an old crack-house that was 100 years old and they fixed up. People come in and pay what they can for a good lunch, whether is a quarter or 5 dollars. We got to sit and talk with a lot of the people in the poor in the community because the place was packed.
Afterwards, we went to the Talitha Koum (check this website out and watch the video. it explains everything.) It's a therapeutic nursery that takes babies up to 6 year olds and teaches them basic abilities that children from broken, chaotic homes do not naturally attain like the ability to rest, to solve conflict without violence, and to prepare them for the demands of school. The director that we met told us that it was common to hear a two year old who is just learning language to say "F*** you, b****" over and over again because its the most common saying they know. I couldn't believe that. Maybe at 5 or 6, but 2? The nursery feeds the children all their meals and even washes their clothes because the public housing the kids come from doesn't permit washers and dryers so clean clothes are rare.
We left there and went to City Hall and met with the Homeless Administrator for Waco. She was really cool because she didn't just sit behind a desk and fight homelessness from there but went out in the city, knew the people by name, and made tangible changes to help homeless people and families find homes and federal aid.
THEN we went to meet Carlton the Director of the Meyer's Center which is the homeless shelter office and the place where meals are served. I'll be serving there some and teaching GED classes. We got a tour and a little briefing.
Then by far the highlight of our evening was going to a two-hour food safety class. It was ridiculous. All we did the whole time was write down some of the ridiculous things the teacher said. For example, when explaining how you can't allow food to just cool down naturally, he said "it's not like we're in North America or something"...I'll stop there. I'll just say I didn't enjoy it.
Afterwards, though, me and some interns took advantage of the free rootbeer floats at Sonic. It was SOOOO good and free.

Today was not anymore thrilling but I had my weekly meeting this morning with our intern Director to talk about the goals I have for the Summer. We sat in on the Staff Meeting with all the people involved in MW and introduced ourselves. We then had our "Friday Forum" (even though its Thursday...we're too busy tomorrow) with Jimmy, the director of MW, over lunch on "Understanding Evil". It was SO interesting. I know I'm going to love these. He taught us how our different religious backgrounds affect the way we view evil and how we intend to change it. Everyone here is from so many different traditions and religious backgrounds. We've got a Buddhist background, Eastern orthodox, Presbyterian, Baptist (of course), Agnostic background, Menonite, Wesleyan, Lutheran. It's cool to hear everyone's point-of-views and opinions.
Then I had a meeting with the Work Groups coordinator and we learned about our job and what was coming up. We start SUNDAY with the first groups coming in from Austin!!! So excited!
Our last thing for the day was a class on "How to prepare a devotional for inner city youth, homeless, etc" and basically, all that was was to get on their level, use their language, and respect their culture.

By far the coolest thing I've done in the last two days happened a few hours ago. So "The Church Under the Bridge" that MW kind of partners with and participates in was having a party for a guy nicknamed Cowboy. Cowboy used to be an alcoholic, started going to the Church under the Bridge and got saved there, and married there. Then he was diagnosed with cancer within the last year and it's at stage 4. He's probably in his 40's and they had a picture there of what he used to look like and he used to look like this huge muscle biker guy. Now he's in a wheelchair and very skinny. So the church threw him a party in celebration of his life. It was this huge cookout and a ton of people from all walks of life showed up. They took time to let the people there tell him what he meant to their life and how much they would miss him. I cried probably 90% of the time. They had music and played that country song "Live like you were dying" and he and his wife danced (as his friends supported him to stand) and when his wife started to cry, I lost it and had to take a walk. It was beautiful. It was a celebration of his life and the excitement of the next one to come. It was so confusing because you don't know whether to be sad that this life is ending or rejoice in the fulfillment of God's promise of eternity and the wholeness and health he will have. It was one of the coolest parties I've ever been to...ever.

I have to now finish my book reflection and get out of this coffee shop.

Thanks for reading. peace to you.

"I will bless you...and you will be a blessing" Gen. 12:2

God said these words "I will bless you and you will be a blessing" to Abraham when He was establishing His covenant. The reason God blessed Abraham was so that Abraham would bless others. "To much is given, much is required." (Luke 12:48) Are you blessing with what God has given you?

I've been here a week and I have learned more about life and God than I have in a long time.

We have to do book discussions throughout the Summer to learn about poverty and the Christian responsibility. Our first book is Compassion, Justice, and the Christian Life by Robert D. Lupton. I finished it today and it is incredible. It taught me so much about impowering the poor and homeless rather than inhibiting them with free food banks and flop-houses (homeless shelters that have no programs or incentives). I learned that I have been so blind to what true community really is. I won't talk about it now so much because I have to write a paper on it by Friday and I'll be posting it on here. Stay tuned.


Some light-hearted news: In the past two days, we built a fire-pit in the backyard of our house and had a fire last night with S'mores included. It was us and the mosquitoes... ugh, I hate them. Emily, an intern, put up a hammock also and I have had the privilege of using it. It seems like we've all finally gotten comfortable with each other and our routines. Some of the best times have been sitting around the table during supper with my fellow interns. The fascination with my accent has increased and have had to say the word "South", "boat", and "both" to humor my co-workers. Who knew this would be the role I played among the group? The token Southerner.

Yesterday was an amazing day-off. I slept til 11:30 (12:30 your time). Didn't shower...at ALL. Read a book and hung-out with the interns. I also got to talk to some of you guys and catch up. It filled me up with that good, home lovin' I miss. I hope that made you feel awkward, but you taking your time to talk to me meant so much. The interns here that are local have had friends over and gone to dinner with people and family. It makes me ache a little bit for the ones I love back home.

Today, we did more orientation. Some game facilitation exercises for the summer. We got our schedules. YEE!

This is what mine looks a little like: (You should be able to click on it to make it bigger)
My main ministry participation will be with the Work Groups that travel from across the country to have an emersion and missions experience in the poverty of Waco. I'm a facilitator that basically hangs out with the groups, gets to know them, and tries to make their experience in Waco enriched. I'll also be with the Work Groups when they go out to do sort of a backyard Bible club on the streets in the community for kids to come out to. I basically do the same job there, play with the kids, and keep an eye out for safety concerns. I'll be tutoring the homeless men at the shelter as they try to get their GEDs on Wednesdays and once they get those, they move on to the Job training/placement program. And I'll be filling in as an office assistant at the main office which I figured would be a cool way to get to know all of the staff and locals. My Saturdays will be filling in random places as we will have to help with MissionWaco's poverty simulation which I don't really know if I've explained yet. But it's yet another event MW(Mission Waco) offers to visiting groups where they can emerse themselves into poverty for a weekend. I don't know any details because it's all highly confidential since we'll be doing it in two weekends. I'll tell you guys all about it afterwards and once we do it, we'll be helping other groups with it. We'll also have to volunteer some teaching chapel at the homeless shelters some nights and the World Cup Cafe waitressing (yay...haha). By the way, we ate lunch there today and it was DELICIOUS and so so cheap. One of our interns is going to do PR work for the cafe to raise awareness about it in the community because it is GREAT...and it all goes back to MW and is a place of employment for the homeless (That's where I met Malcolm).

Something else we are doing is every week, we have assigned times to get together with a few others and have certain Scriptures that we will read aloud to one another that are about the poor, oppressed, and our responsibility, Jesus' position, etc. We had our first tonight at Kathy's house and i LOVED it. I was sitting there thinking how this is how it was meant to be done and how the Jews still do it. Our Scripture came mostly from the Old Testament and it took us about an hour to get through it all. Here are some good ones:

"You must not mistreat any widow or fatherless child. If you do mistreat them, they will no doubt cry to Me, and I will certainly hear their cry." Exodus 22:22-23

"You must not oppress a foreign resident; you yourselves know how it feels to be a foreigner because you were foreigners in the land of Egypt." Exodus 23:9
[In the law, over and over again, the Lord reminds the Jews that they should treat others well because they should remember what it was like to be slaves and foreigners in the land of Egypt. Really, over and over again. This parallels today as we can all remember what it was like to be slaves to sin, to the world and the battle it still rages in our hearts. Remember what it was like and don't treat the foreigner, the oppressed, the homeless, the poor, the lost as if they are some dirty, "foreign" thing. They are struggling with the same as we are. We are responsible for them. Remember.]

"When a foreigner lives with you in your land, you must not oppress him. You must regard the foreigner who lives with you as native-born among you. You are to love him as yourself, for you were foreigners in the land of Egypt; I am the Lord your God." Lev. 19:33-34

"When you reap the harvest of your land, you are not to reap to the very edge of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. You must not strip your vineyard bare or gather its fallen grapes. Leave them for the poor and the foreign resident; I am the Lord your God." Lev. 19:9-10
[You can see how greed has completely changed the fabric of our society and completely ruined 'community'. Applying these verses to the 21st century, why do we horde our money and continually feel its a requirement to upgrade and have the "best"? Why do we use every last cent, our harvest, on ourselves? Unfortunately even if you do tithe, one book I'm reading gave the startling statistic that on average a church gives less than 1/2 of 1% of their budget to the poor. Now, I don't know the details of that. But it's just something to think about. When did we become so greedy?]

"He saves the needy from their sharp words and from the clutches of the powerful. So the poor have hope, and injustice shuts its mouth." Job 5:15

"God rescues the afflicted by afflicting them; He instructs them by means of their torment." Job 36:15
[That's an interesting way to look at it. God's purposes are never completely known to man. How can we propose that the homeless deserve their depravity because of their afflictions? It's all in God's plan.]

I think that's enough, but I loved it. Can't wait until next week.
We also started our small groups. We are required to join a small group through a church and a few of us went to Jimmy Dorrell's (the director of MW) tonight. It kicked off with us going back to the homeless shelter to hear him share a message to the men there. I saw many familiar faces and a lot of the awkwardness was completely washed away. I got to speak a lot with a guy named Ron who is basically a flipping genius. He's probably late forties, early fifties. He came down from Pennsylvania immediately after the Branch Davidian church burning ((the big cult deal which is the only reason anyone knows about Waco)) to investigate what had happened. And he lived on the church property and gave tours to curious travellers. He was even baptized into their faith. If you can imagine my face I made at that disclosure, haha. He's really philosophical and believes that everything in this world is a conspiracy (and not just in the negative connotation, but just that everything has been plotted and planned by someone). He is teaching himself Hebrew and showed me how He is finding "codes" in the Old Testament that point to the divinity of Jesus. Now, you may be hesitant and so am I. But it was so cool to talk to him. I told him I wanted to know more about both: the codes and the Branch Davidians. I haven't gotten down to why he's at the shelter and if he's got a job, but it's another relationship that is forming by the grace of God.

There's a lot going on but I'm anxious to start my real summer schedule next Monday. Pray for that transition and that God would really use me in the venues I've been placed.

Thanks for reading, Peace to you.