fruit

its amazing how God keeps His word.

i have seen the fruits of my labor. and its rotten. i am astounded at my inability to swim against the tide. temptation is so appealing.
as i acted in disobedience to God, i thought to myself, 'im going to reap what i sow'. well, my mind probably said something like 'this is going to jump up and bite you...soon'.

and it did.
i am pathetic and scum.

i often think about how i don't really love God. i want to. i need to. but if i could grasp it and live in the love, there's my goal.

wow, im watching an episode of one of my favorite shows : '30 days' on fx. and the controversy is interfering with the sincerity of this blog. it's a reality show (but a good one) that places people into unusual and uncomfortable situations for 30 days for the sake of enlightenment and fighting ignorance. tonight's episode involves a mormon woman who is against homosexuality and the ability of a homosexual couple to adopt children. she's had to move in with a male couple and their children, attend a support group for children of homosexual parents, and the family's church that affirms homosexual couples. i love this show. i was reading a critic of it today and he said it was one of the 'most intelligent' shows on tv. it's aaamazing and refreshing from all the other junk on tv. you should check it out.
did you know that sperm donors get paid $80-100 dollars for ONE donation?
(hah something i just learned)

on that note,

peace to you.